So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
