You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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