She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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