Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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