Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize