why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
