don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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