she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
