Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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