Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
