What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
