belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
