i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
