Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
