My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
