Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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