Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
