why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
