Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
