he puts the penis in happiness.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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