Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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