Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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