Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
