When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We don't watch enough power rangers
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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