I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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