He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
