Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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