I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
