hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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