I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
