People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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