Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
