I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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