What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she smelled like a LAN party
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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