it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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