he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
