Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
