end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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