I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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