So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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