I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
