Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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