So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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