"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
