I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i barfeds in our rink
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
