you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
