He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Such a big mess for such a small penis
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
