Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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