just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
