He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
