My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We are two peas in an std pod
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize