He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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