I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
