if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize