sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
