i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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