Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
