I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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