that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize